DE,Evilkeg - Cat Diary DS,inserter CT,20,T PN,18801 SC,0001 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#PTh}0`~P OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`pp0hw?w5P OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{%P OL,5,P Thg;?so2#P OL,6,BIt was an otherwise typical night in my OL,7,Bhouse. I was sleeping on the landing. OL,8,Bdreaming as always of my Future global OL,9,Bdomination, when the HUMAN stumbled out OL,10,Bof its room to visit the "toilet". OL,12,FIt tripped over me and fell on its face OL,13,Fand i? I was able to laugh I would have OL,14,Fdone so. Stupid HUMANS and their poor OL,15,Fnocturnal vision. Ha ha ha! OL,17,BTook it a while to get up though. I OL,18,Bhope it's food pouch-opening abilities OL,19,Bare not affected. or I'll have to leave OL,20,Bto live at the house next door. The old OL,21,Bbiddy there only has Kitekat tins. OL,22,------------------------------------1/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18802 SC,0002 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BI woke up hungry this morning. But had OL,7,Bthe HUMAN filled my bowl? No. So I OL,8,Bwent up to its door and scratched and OL,9,Bmewled until it appeared. muttering OL,10,Bsomething about it being "only 6am". OL,12,FTo ensure its compliance. I circled its OL,13,Ffeet until the food was in. I presume OL,14,Fthe talk of my "starvation act" being OL,15,Fmore convincing" if I was "less fat" OL,16,Fwas meant to be insulting. I care not. OL,18,BI took one mouthful and realised it was OL,19,Bchicken flavour and not tuna, so I OL,20,Bshowed my displeasure by walking ofF. OL,21,BNot seen the HUMAN since. wonder why? OL,22,------------------------------------2/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18803 SC,0003 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BThe HUMAN was late up today. And by OL,7,Blate, I mean VERY late. I only saw it OL,8,Bwhen it was running to the toilet and OL,9,Bvomiting. I cannot see the point in it. OL,10,Bwhy not Just do it on the floor? OL,12,FEventually, after much mewling and OL,13,Fscratching. it went downstairs to feed OL,14,Fme. It retched as it pushed the food OL,15,Ffrom the pouch. What a selfish wimp. OL,17,BI'm now sat here watching it. HUMAN, OL,18,BI will forgive this lapse JUST THIS OL,19,BONCE. But if it EVER happens again. I OL,20,BI will be through that catflap and down OL,21,Bto that house over there. It has IAMS. OL,22,------------------------------------3/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18804 SC,0004 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BI have taken note of recent events and OL,7,Bbehaviour of the HUMAN, and it appears OL,8,Bit is not giving me the respect that I OL,9,Bdeserve. Thus, I have had to take OL,10,Bmatters into my own hands. Or paws. OL,12,FI was checking the garden when I came OL,13,Facross a mouse. It appeared nearly dead OL,14,Fanyway. but I gave it a ouick swipe to OL,15,Ffinish it off. I chewed and scratched OL,16,Fit a bit. solely for appearances sake. OL,18,BI went upstairs and dumped the mouse in OL,19,Bfront of the HUMAN'S door. when it came OL,20,Bout it Just sighed and went to throw it OL,21,Bin the bin. ONE day it will learn. YES. OL,22,------------------------------------4/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18805 SC,0005 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BToday, the HUMAN had a large thing OL,7,Bdelivered to the house. I of course am OL,8,Bnot interested in these things, but it OL,9,Bdid have a large box which I promptly OL,10,Bgot inside. Only then did I realise OL,11,Bthat I could not get out. OL,13,FI mewled at the HUMAN, but it Just got OL,14,Fup and started taking photos of my sad OL,15,Fpredicament. while laughing at me and OL,16,Fadversely commenting on my intelligence OL,18,BI later found it looking at pictures of OL,19,Bother cats on its screen thing. I hope OL,20,Bits not thinking about getting another. OL,21,Bwhat a dismal. unfaithful wretch it is. OL,22,------------------------------------5/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18806 SC,0006 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BAs I had experienced a strenous day OL,7,Byesterday, getting only 22% hours sleep OL,8,Bdue having to watch another cat which OL,9,Bwas sat across the road, I decided that OL,10,BI needed extra comfort today. I settled OL,11,Bdown to sleep on the HUMAN'S coat. OL,13,FThe HUMAN wanted to go out, but I was OL,14,Fnot going to move. HUMANS are wimos for OL,15,Fneeding extra warmth and protection, I OL,16,Fdecided. It left the house coatless. OL,18,BHow I laughed when it started raining. OL,19,BThe HUMAN was soaked to the skin when OL,20,Bit came back. But fair's fair. I needed OL,21,Bthat coat MUCH more than the HUMAN did. OL,22,------------------------------------6/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18807 SC,0007 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q~/-P Q~P Q/}QpP OL,2,QPQh?o4/$QQj5|h?o4}>%pP T8#P Th}0`~ OL,3,Qo|<*}>5o|$Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#T`&`0T`0hw?w5 OL,4,COn HUMANS by YOUR CAT Q/'T*x:~q{% OL,5,P Thg;g;2#P OL,6,BThe HUMAN seems to be attempting to OL,7,Brestrict my diet. I only managed to get OL,8,Btwo pouches a day out it it all of last OL,9,Bweek. despite me asking every other OL,10,Bhour. Perhaps I am not making my needs OL,11,Bclear enough For a human to understand. OL,13,FI contemplated going next door and OL,14,Feating the Fat Tabby's food, but the OL,15,Fscratches I got last time I got through OL,16,Fit's catflap took some explaining. OL,18,BSo I Just sat on the HUMAN and mewled OL,19,Band rubbed until I got all the Food I OL,20,Brequired. Then I was sick all over it. OL,21,BHUMAN - let this be a lesson to you! OL,22,------------------------------------7/8- OL,23,D]Chttp://evilkegtext.blogspot.co.uk/ OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,18808 SC,0008 PS,C000 RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q/}P Q/}QpP T`p0P OL,2,QQh?o4~/}QQj5|h?o4}>%pPTx?otP OL,3,Q|?*}~%o|Q|?Q*}>5PQ"#Tj5#j5P OL,4,C WITH Ql|?CNICK'S DOG Q+/'T"To/?py||||0 OL,5,P Q/Tmw}{ OL,6,BToday, Master gave his usual cry of OL,7,BWALKIES and we got on the bicycle. We OL,8,Bstopped outside the Brauhaus and he OL,9,Bsaid "What, dog? You want to go in? OL,10,BI suppose I could fit in a pilsner." OL,12,F7 beers and similar events at more pubs OL,13,Flater. we were wobbling home. Dodgy OL,14,Ftyre on the bike, Master said. I had to OL,15,Fwoo? when we needed to turn down roads. OL,17,BLater that evening. Master told me "Dog OL,18,Byou keep taking me to pubs. Have you OL,19,Bever thought you might have a drinking OL,20,Bproblem? I've booked you into the Ford OL,21,BClinic for Dogs on Monday." Woof woof. OL,22,------------------------------------8/8- OL,23,D]CYOUR CAT is asleep and not bothered OL,24,ACraft Bars BPubs CWhisky FA-Z Index FL,0,0,0,0,100,100