DE,Digitiser - 9 Mar 2003 DS,inserter SP,Z:\Documents\Projects\Teletext pages\teletext-full\P491.tti PN,49101 SC,0001 PS,8000 CT,20,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FIf there were such a place as Synchroni OL,5,FCity, I'd be there now. At 8.01pm on OL,6,FThursday March 6, 2003, 10 years and OL,7,Fa few months after the first edition oF OL,8,FDigitiser hit the air, my modem died. OL,10,GI went broadband some time back, OL,11,Gbut was Forced to keep this old steam- OL,12,Gdriven jeremy because I needed it to OL,13,Gaccess the Teletext server. OL,15,FWhat was particularly eerie was that OL,16,Fit died just as I sat down to write OL,17,Fthis: mine, and Digitiser's Teletext OL,18,Fobituary. I was so Freaked out that I OL,19,Fliterally guffed myself unconscious. OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````1/8`` OL,21,G AcknowledgmentsF494 OL,22,F]EMNew Games For Your Mobile-C4 p657 OL,23,F]EMNew Games For Your Mobile-C4 p657 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49102 SC,0002 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FThe death of my special Digitiser OL,5,Fmodem was the Final suggestion that the OL,6,FForces of Fate have conspired to stress OL,7,Fthat an era really is at an end. OL,9,GLast December, I was offered a six- OL,10,Gmonth position as first-mate on a OL,11,Gmerchant seaman's vessel, ferrying cow OL,12,Ghormones around the Philippines. OL,14,FThen, tragically, in January my OL,15,Fentire family was killed by a kestrel, OL,16,Fwhile walking in the Cotswolds. OL,17,FBizarrely, police later found that OL,18,Fthe bird of prey was out of its OL,19,Fmind on cow hormones... OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````2/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,F]EMNew Games For Your Mobile-C4 p657 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49103 SC,0003 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FI'd always known that Digitiser OL,5,Fhad a sell-by-date embroidered on its OL,6,Flarynx. There's only so much you can OL,7,Fsay about games before your brain OL,8,Fstarts to leak. OL,10,GJust ask Stuart Campbell - he's spent OL,11,Gthe last 12 months thinking he's a type OL,12,Gof salamander, and now lives underneath OL,13,Ga rock in a big glass tank. OL,15,FIt hasn't been an easy habit to break. OL,16,FI've been well aware of my gilded role. OL,17,FHow many other occupations include OL,18,Fwindbaggery" and "nude giraffe rides" OL,19,Fin their job descriptions? OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````3/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,A]F NEW GENERATION PHONE? OL,23,A]F GAMES AND RINGTONES p676 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49104 SC,0004 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FIronically, it was only during those OL,5,Fdark, humourless months last year, OL,6,Fwhen I became aware of the special OL,7,Fplace that Digitiser seemed to hold OL,8,Fin the heart of its viewers' bottoms. OL,10,GWhen Mr Hairs and myself began the OL,11,Gsection 10 years ago, it was primarily OL,12,Gto amuse ourselves and get Free games. OL,14,FBut in the past six months I've OL,15,Fbeen privy to, nay, on the receiving OL,16,Fend of, a love that is Frankly stupid OL,17,Fconsidering it's targeted at some poxy OL,18,FTeletext video games section. Hello? OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````4/8`` OL,21,G Ring-Sir!F492 OL,22,D]FARE YOU PLANNING A NIGHT IN OR OUT? OL,23,D]FGO TOCwww.teletext.co.uk/pinpoint OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49105 SC,0005 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FIt's safe to say that if it weren't For OL,5,FDigitiser's viewers, we wouldn't have OL,6,Flasted this long. OL,8,GEven when the Forces of darkness, OL,9,Gthe suits, the squares, wanted to OL,10,Gcrush it, there was an undoubted OL,11,Gvibe, a magic, a sense of community OL,12,Gthat kept it going. OL,14,FWithout getting mawkish, or over- OL,15,Fsentimental, it's fair to say that OL,16,FDigitiser would've died 10 times over OL,17,Fwithout the unwavering support of its OL,18,Faudience. You stuck with it, and OL,19,Fbecause of that Digi stuck with you. OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````5/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,A]F NEW GENERATION PHONE? OL,23,A]F GAMES AND RINGTONES p676 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49106 SC,0006 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FBut, as George Harrison discovered OL,5,Fnot so long ago, all things must pass. OL,6,FFlowers bloom and wilt. Puerile imagery OL,7,Fgets scrubbed off school lockers. OL,9,GDogs get run over, and you have to OL,10,Gbury them. and then you feel really OL,11,Gguilty For driving around the cul-de- OL,12,Gsac waving a string of sausages From OL,13,Gthe window, shouting: "Here, boy?" OL,15,FAnd like all of those things, Digi's OL,16,Ftime has finally come. It's time to OL,17,Fmove on. Grow up. Stand alone and OL,18,Fproud. It's over, but it's been OL,19,Fa lewd old ride. OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````6/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,A]F NEW GENERATION PHONE? OL,23,A]F GAMES AND RINGTONES p676 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49107 SC,0007 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FSo, anyway. That's that. ain't no OL,5,Fsunshine till it rains, and everything. OL,6,FIt's over. Gone. No more. Get outta OL,7,Fhere, kid, before I blub. OL,9,GThere'll be another bus along on OL,10,GMonday, but it will be a yellow bus, OL,11,Gand it will smell like a wet priest. OL,13,FAnd hey - just because the Digi OL,14,Fomnibus has crashed through a bakery, OL,15,Fkilling everyone on board, it doesn't OL,16,Fmean you shouldn't hop aboard. In OL,17,Ffact, we demand that you do. Or OL,18,Fwe'll be round to do a quiet OL,19,Fpump on your ice-creams. OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````7/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,A]FM BAMBOOZLE YOURSELF TODAY p452 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100 PN,49108 SC,0008 PS,8000 CT,8,T RE,0 OL,0,XXXXXXXXTEEFAX mpp DAY dd MTH C hh:nn.ss OL,1,Q##j=|h<| s!|l4|n5GBIFFO BIDS GOODBYE OL,2,Q  j5jws s0j5z5 OL,3,G``````````````````````````````````````` OL,4,FIt feels like I should end this sort OL,5,Fof farewell thing with something apt. OL,6,FBut how to sum up 10 gut-stuffed OL,7,Fyears, in a few short words? OL,9,GIt's impossible, and thus the only way OL,10,Gto explain such feelings is with an OL,11,Gimage. Press reveal to see what it is: OL,13,WX 4 h!` 0 a~=CXTHE REAL OL,14,WX ! "}p hu o% z%5CXTURNERUX8>|p OL,15,WXtbu*}t~t~ $CX THE UX//|p OL,16,WX ++4CXWORM UX+oou} OL,17,WX `?u b!CXBEING WXj!UX+o?z OL,18,WX x!k!o!kj`*% CXSICK WX* UX #ne OL,19,WXpqp~uptzxrpppxpp p 0 ` ` UX g~ OL,20,G``````````````````````````````````8/8`` OL,21,G The EndF492GThe EndF493GThe EndF494 OL,22,A]FM TURNER THE WORM p194 OL,24,APreview BInteractive CTV Guide FKids FL,0,0,0,0,100,100