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OL,1,A  IMPORTANT PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT FROM   
OL,2,W8###dS  vjji 6j 5w!w! w$56jzhyj9ji     
OL,3,Wu~tpzW  :jji ej055 5  555ejjjjjjj:     
OL,4,W{{C---------------------------------
OL,5,WzF"Hi girls. You all know me as Sir
OL,6,WvsyFCliff Richard - even though I was
OL,7,W"o|?!Fborn Harry Webb (because the     
OL,8,Ffirst thing I saw when I opened my eyes
OL,9,Fwas a 'hairy cobweb', which mg father  
OL,10,Fhad draped on his face to scare me)!!  
OL,12,F"Thing is, I'm coming to the end of my 
OL,13,Flong life, and I think it's time for me
OL,14,Fto adopt a third name. You know what   
OL,15,Ftheg say - good things come in threes! 
OL,17,F"Please take out your marker pens and  
OL,18,Famend all your Sir Cliff Richard albums
OL,19,Fand calendars to new name - Sir Pubic  
OL,20,FPiggle. Please be aware: if you fail to
OL,21,Fdo this, there will be severe legal    
OL,22,Fconsequences. well, that's all my news.
OL,23,FSee you in the charts, guys!"          
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OL,1,B IS YOUR PAPA SULLEN AND CANTANKEROUS? 
OL,2,BNOW YOU CAN TURN HIM INTO THE ULTIMATE 
OL,3,B  "FUNFATHER" WITH THIS COOL NEW...    
OL,4,Qx|||||Uih74ij743j5  jw!k7j5Q||||||p
OL,5,Q+/////U:j75:j7 qju0pjw0j5b1Q//////#
OL,6,C Dadpellet is a big iron bolus that is 
OL,7,C    and enough for most daddies!       
OL,8,FSIMPLY DRUG YOUR FATHER USING DADPELLET
OL,9,F-BRAND SEDATIVES, AND SLIP HIM THROUGH 
OL,10,F THE HATCH. ONCE HE'S INSIDE, DADPELLET
OL,11,F BECOMES EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE NEW TOY! 
OL,12,E---------------------------------------
OL,13,C*BRoll Dadpellet down bevels n' slopes!
OL,14,C*EPush Dadpellet into walls, and hear  
OL,15,C Eyour father sloshing around inside!  
OL,16,C*BHammer on Dadpellet with a big spoon 
OL,17,C Band smile at father's drowsy yelps!  
OL,18,E---------------------------------------
OL,19,        C]DPlease, child - I don't want 
OL,20,Q`||0C]Dto go in the orb!! \         
OL,21,Q~gsmW   |Sx/Wp           BDADPELLET!
OL,22,Qm}}}:/:W &{-p W`{8C]DSo?! \ BDADPELLET!
OL,23,Q"//!W`&#e  W`64 S,.#     BYES! YES! 
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OL,1,B     BE A SUPER FLY GUY OR GAL AT      
OL,2,T6i#9   Q3j5j5hj5~k4ij5j74T `p 6i   
OL,3,Tbwwt Q ju"7 'o5oz%ijuju%Tx/~{}s$ 
OL,4,T8'/!"%B "COME FLY WITH US!" T  8+4+4  
OL,5,C At Flyworld you can get up close and  
OL,6,C  personal with flies - nature's most  
OL,7,C        disgusting creature!           
OL,8,A---------------------------------------
OL,9,A*ESee flies in their natural habitat - 
OL,10,A Ea big pile of filth and rotting food 
OL,11,A Eand shit for God's sake!             
OL,12,A*FBe forced to apologise to your kinder
OL,13,A Ffor ever thinking that visiting this 
OL,14,A Fawful place was a good idea!         
OL,15,A*EWatch flies buzzing around a light in
OL,16,A Ethe middle of a room, like the stupid
OL,17,A Erevolting idiots they are!           
OL,18,A*FCome and pet the maggots in our baby 
OL,19,A Ffly petting zoo!                     
OL,20,C---------------------------------------
OL,21,B    FLYWORLD (formerly High Wycombe    
OL,22,B Residential Landfill) - You'll regret 
OL,23,B           you ever came!              
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OL,1,Q~)jwj5jwjw$9j5~)ju5~y"!BQ&A With TV's
OL,2,Qo8jwjujwju%jj5o8j55j  BLORD SUGAR!  
OL,3,T,,W04444444pT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
OL,4,W  ~}0 CHELLO LORD SUGAR. WHAT 
OL,5,W z||,,,l|} CCAN WE EXPECT FROM THE 
OL,6,W|jgvojjgvo5|CNEXT SERIES OF THE     
OL,7,W~}~|~u~CAPPRENTICE?F"We're     
OL,8,W(?ysssv/$Fchanging the format so 
OL,9,W ozp ($ pj7 Fthat instead of me     
OL,10,W  +oss?#  Fhiring and firing a new
OL,11,Fmender, I'm just going to be thumbing  
OL,12,Fthrough old issues of Attitude and     
OL,13,Frating them out of 12... in the nuddy!"
OL,15,CWHAT IS YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?F"I  
OL,16,Fonce managed to fit a whole quiche in a
OL,17,Fkangaroo's pouch without it even       
OL,18,Frealising. Animals are so creepy!"     
OL,20,CTELL US A SECRET ABOUT YOU.F"Well, I   
OL,21,Fprobably shouldn't tell you this, but  
OL,22,Fthe Amstrad CPC 464 was just an old VHS
OL,23,Frecorder with an Oric Atmos inside."   
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OL,1,R+tu7FHa ha! I'm K-Hole Bodd. Are you as
OL,2,W~o/}Fweary as I as of paying too such  
OL,3,W?*~Ffor your goods and services? Then 
OL,4,Woh|jFcome on down to my store...       
OL,5,Q9h74ij74%~3 ~3j5 j5j5 ij74h7jw!~3
OL,6,U:*u%:ju% r? r?j5pju0k! !j74*ujw0r?
OL,7,BFrankly, our prices are just too silly!
OL,8,D---------------------------------------
OL,9,C      CHECK OUT THE LATEST DEALS:      
OL,10,ABWet pegs for just #HEUUMMMMMMM!!     
OL,11,CEMyriad vapours now only #F-FUH-URLL!!
OL,12,ABBuy 51 playing cards: get one extra  
OL,13,AABfor an additional #%%%%%%%%AAAH&&&!!!
OL,14,AEBags of cat shavings #ULLO per 1lb???
OL,15,CBBurnt strings reduced to #BUNGOTIME!!
OL,16,D---------------------------------------
OL,17,FYou'll be so bewildered and distressed 
OL,18,Fby our pricing methods and working     
OL,19,Fpractices that you'll probably leave   
OL,20,Fthe store without buying anything! Its 
OL,21,Fnot ideal, but well, y.know. Whatever. 
OL,22,D---------------------------------------
OL,23,B I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!!  
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OL,1,ADO YOUR PEAS KEEP ROLLING AWAY? TRY NEW
OL,2,R"( $ Ssj7}j74~ij5 ij7!~ijw1         
OL,3,R012`!Srj7!j74k k! !jw0k`s5R!0$"0 0`
OL,4,A  Give peas (Spray Peas) a chance!     
OL,5,R n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$ n$
OL,6,FSpray Peas are peas in a can. Unlike   
OL,7,Fregular spherical peas, Spray Peas are 
OL,8,Fdelivered to your plate in the form of 
OL,9,Fa chalky green cloud. Aim the can at   
OL,10,Fyour plate, then lick off the residue! 
OL,11,E---------------------------------------
OL,12,AREMEMBER:CDue to the unique methods    
OL,13,Cused in the manufacture of Spray Peas, 
OL,14,Cyou must consume them within 15 seconds
OL,15,Cof spraying. Failure to do so will     
OL,16,Ccause the parasite eggs to hatch. DO   
OL,17,CNOT ALLOW THE PARASITE EGGS TO HATCH.  
OL,18,E---------------------------------------
OL,19,B      Green peas was my delight        
OL,20,B   Green peas was my heart of gold,    
OL,21,B    Green peas was my heart of joy,    
OL,22,B  I REPEAT: DO NOT ALLOW THE PARASITE  
OL,23,B           EGGS TO HATCH!!!            
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OL,1,Q zh7}j545"!~k4h3"!~i*u?Vh7$6}hk4h0
OL,2,Q k*u?juu5  oz%`s?  k j V*u$e?*z%2%
OL,3,B WITH UNCLE COOL!T,,,,,,,,,,,V~|h}|||hi
OL,4,CI'm Uncle - Uncle Cool. No   V'pps+'!
OL,5,Crelation to Daddy Cool. It's V,*ppp%,  
OL,6,Cjust weird coincidence that  V+m|l|~'  
OL,7,CI have a job advising the public on how
OL,8,Cto stay cool in warm weather. One other
OL,9,Cthing you might not know about me is   
OL,10,Cthat I once prised open a stranger's   
OL,11,Cgarage and surprised him with a woof!  
OL,12,T,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
OL,13,B++UNCLE COOL'S TIPS FOR KEEPIN' COOL++ 
OL,14,A*FCan't tell if its hot? Just press an 
OL,15,A Ficicle 'gainst the neck of a sun-warm
OL,16,A Fstranger. Drips = hot weather!       
OL,17,A*EChill a membrane in your fridge, then
OL,18,A Esource a shadow in your front yard.  
OL,19,A ELay in the shad' 'neath the membrane!
OL,20,A*FFind a neighbour with air con and    
OL,21,A Fpress yourself up against their      
OL,22,A FFrench windows. Now start shiverin'! 
OL,23,B OBEY ME! OBEY UNCLE COOL! OBEY! OBEY! 
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OL,1,BIT'S THE NATION'S NUMBER ONE COUNTDOWN!
OL,2,Q k7h749 ~ijw k7ju51 ijw$~yj74:h3  
OL,3,Q j5*u%  o:j5 j5j551 !j55jj55j`{?  
OL,4,C---BTHIS WEEK'S TOP YOUTUBE PRANKS!C---
OL,6,E10.CThrow realistic rubber cat in co-  
OL,7,E   Cworker face.                       
OL,8,E 9.FStartle mother by braying loudly   
OL,9,E   Fnear her while she sleep.          
OL,10,E 8.CPreetend carrot is cigarette.      
OL,11,E 7.FPut sawdust in friend's coffee.    
OL,12,E 6 CSpy on old school pal by hiding in 
OL,13,E   Cbedroom wardrobe. Then, leap out in
OL,14,E   Cmiddle of night waving big plank   
OL,15,E   Cand shouting about Apocalypse.     
OL,16,E 5.FReplace friend's hair with soil.   
OL,17,E 4.CCook funny biscuit.                
OL,18,E 3.FMake silly noise in bath tub.      
OL,19,E 2.CClimb to top of spire. Start       
OL,20,E   Cthrowing fun snaps at priest. When 
OL,21,E   Cpriest starts crying, throw more!  
OL,22,E 1.FDeliberately lose race.            
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